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While I woke upwards today, my own telephone test brightened with an unread information from “Maybe: Joe”—my latest Tinder fit which really loves “spicy waters” (…seltzer), lives about seven miles off, and contains a hairs that reaffirms your affinity for males whom appear as if lumberjacks.

We transitioned our personal convo to texting last night within the pretense that “Tinder destroys my personal battery, lol,” and that he enrolled with my own roster alongside some other contenders:

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